it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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