Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
