The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
