Ambien. No doubt about it.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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