question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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