I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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