i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize