it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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