she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Do vagina's smell?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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