In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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