I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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