let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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