Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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