What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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