Swine flu. Run for my life!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My penis needs a shock collar
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
