Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
