eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
