I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
