I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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