I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
