two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
