Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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