i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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