Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
