So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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