Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
