That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
