i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
