People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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