I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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