Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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