i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A bitchslap is in order.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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