Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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