Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
