I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize