We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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