I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
