You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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