I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
