This is not my ceiling
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
