Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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