sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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