I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
