what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
