Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was your Memorial Day?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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  (717): How was your Memorial Day? (1-717): Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name. http://tfl.nu/grou
  Replies (10) Good night (3738) Bad night (654)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6061) Bad night (993)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.

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  (845): Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian. http://tfl.nu/smlz
  Replies (24) Good night (2707) Bad night (982)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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  (617): I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/tunm
  Replies (45) Good night (1474) Bad night (5006)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.

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  (616): And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard. http://tfl.nu/ztg2
  Replies (18) Good night (1172) Bad night (3296)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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  (919): My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq. http://tfl.nu/vzq9
  Replies (6) Good night (3599) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?

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  (732): last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night? http://tfl.nu/rkjl
  Replies (9) Good night (3490) Bad night (835)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

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  (250): Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety... http://tfl.nu/2t4m
  Replies (8) Good night (3276) Bad night (1142)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

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  (859): I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin. http://tfl.nu/i4o4
  Replies (14) Good night (2353) Bad night (1794)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.

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  (734): he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/43r1
  Replies (6) Good night (1168) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.

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  (909): We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic. http://tfl.nu/24xb
  Replies (2) Good night (1069) Bad night (511)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.

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  (702): Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent. http://tfl.nu/joa6
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Were you drinking last night?

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.

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  (320): Were you drinking last night? (320): Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety. http://tfl.nu/r4i0
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.

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  (787): Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move. http://tfl.nu/dnyd
  Replies (8) Good night (257) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!

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  (315): Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night! http://tfl.nu/mal7
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (199)

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