Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life

(619): View more from California

with a huge shlong

(440): View more from Ohio

massive. i wanna make bitches cry

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(513): View more from Ohio

CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

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(443): View more from Maryland

The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(951): View more from California

I didn't know people actually cried after sex.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

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(315): View more from New York

dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it

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