I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro