She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
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there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
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I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?