I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
