I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.