Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.

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  (651): It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits. http://tfl.nu/7qz9
  Replies (24) Good night (4067) Bad night (719)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ah tequila...

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  (913): You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur # (816): ah tequila... http://tfl.nu/7k34
  Replies (22) Good night (6172) Bad night (925)
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  (707): View more from California

  I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on

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  (707): I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on http://tfl.nu/0k8v
  Replies (26) Good night (3016) Bad night (1077)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.

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  (407): When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much. http://tfl.nu/q4wr
  Replies (22) Good night (4655) Bad night (1299)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (2975) Bad night (1043)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.

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  (304): Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh. http://tfl.nu/3wcj
  Replies (4) Good night (1811) Bad night (752)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.

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  (703): I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA. http://tfl.nu/tqpj
  Replies (7) Good night (3546) Bad night (815)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you

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  (785): Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you http://tfl.nu/5ffo
  Replies (4) Good night (2474) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick

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  (707): Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick http://tfl.nu/qfj7
  Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (554)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes

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  (608): It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes http://tfl.nu/xen4
  Replies (4) Good night (1109) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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  (443): I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible? http://tfl.nu/lb2v
  Replies (19) Good night (692) Bad night (1104)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

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  (512): While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before. http://tfl.nu/erll
  Replies (7) Good night (1880) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.

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  (734): the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity. http://tfl.nu/gric
  Replies (5) Good night (1422) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess

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  (505): It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die. (505): But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess http://tfl.nu/nbb1
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.

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  (310): Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley. http://tfl.nu/mbvo
  Replies (2) Good night (173) Bad night (450)

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