Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one

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(415): we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one http://tfl.nu/7sll

Replies (16) Good night (1059) Bad night (614)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.

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(505): My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though. http://tfl.nu/1gr0

Replies (5) Good night (2613) Bad night (627)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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(717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww

Replies (83) Good night (50505) Bad night (2467)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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(307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn

Replies (11) Good night (6452) Bad night (1020)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.

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(810): I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio. http://tfl.nu/bxp9

Replies (10) Good night (1032) Bad night (3044)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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(787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex

Replies (21) Good night (4758) Bad night (1277)
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(573): View more from Missouri

ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.

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(573): ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME. http://tfl.nu/9twm

Replies (4) Good night (1752) Bad night (951)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing

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(404): I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing http://tfl.nu/nbfy

Replies (25) Good night (967) Bad night (1546)
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(+61): View more from Australia

he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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(+61): he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms http://tfl.nu/3nr0

Replies (14) Good night (1867) Bad night (737)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Let's drink?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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(319): Let's drink? (1-319): Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/5wza

Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (661)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think they're German

(203): View more from Connecticut

Just say lederhosen and see what happens

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(513): I think they're German (203): Just say lederhosen and see what happens http://tfl.nu/u5tp

Replies (8) Good night (1595) Bad night (653)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.

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(919): Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out. http://tfl.nu/vb1r

Replies (3) Good night (1304) Bad night (1043)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated

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(602): Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated http://tfl.nu/w4re

Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (792)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

Damnit.

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(832): If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning (1-832): Damnit. http://tfl.nu/shac

Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (422)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.

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(601): He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time. http://tfl.nu/0o2i

Replies (5) Good night (518) Bad night (682)

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