I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
