I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
