4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
