you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Randomize
