Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
