you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
