Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
