everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
