can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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