you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
