She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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