I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
