i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
