youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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