Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
