Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize