What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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