I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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