It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
