Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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