He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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