Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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