Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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