I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
